How is Being Sober Curious Different from Being Fully Sober?

By: Holly Wilson

You know that moment: it's 9 AM, you're staring at your laptop through bleary eyes, trying to piece together last night's client dinner while simultaneously preparing for your morning team meeting. The third cup of coffee isn't helping, and you're wondering—not for the first time—if alcohol is becoming your career's biggest obstacle instead of the social lubricant you once believed it to be.

For many professional women, this scenario plays out with alarming regularity. The after-work drinks that were once a cornerstone of networking have evolved into a pattern that leaves us operating at half-capacity during crucial moments. We find ourselves wondering if that one last drink at the end of the night might have affected more than just our sleep—perhaps it impacted the impression we made on potential clients or our ability to form coherent sentences.

This growing awareness of the pitfalls of drinking is what led me and is leading many successful women to become sober curious, questioning not just their drinking habits but the role alcohol plays in their professional advancement. When that internal voice starts whispering that alcohol might be holding you back from reaching the pinnacle of your career, it's worth paying attention.

What Does "Sober Curious" Mean?

Picture walking into a networking event and, instead of automatically reaching for a glass of wine, pausing to ask yourself: "Do I actually want this drink, or am I operating on autopilot?" That's the essence of being sober curious. It's about mindfully questioning our cultural assumptions around alcohol and our individual drinking habits.

The sober curious definition goes beyond simply wondering if you should cut back. It's an invitation to explore your subconscious beliefs about alcohol, society and yourself that drive your drinking choices: Are you reaching for that cocktail because you genuinely want it, or because you're trying to mask social anxiety? Does that glass of wine really help you unwind after a stressful day of meetings, or is it preventing you from developing healthier stress management strategies?

Being sober curious allows you to examine your relationship with alcohol without committing to never drinking again. It's about creating space between the impulse and the action, understanding your triggers, and making conscious choices rather than following ingrained habits.

For instance, a sober curious health professional might choose to:

• Order sparkling water at a client dinner instead of defaulting to the expected glass(es) of wine

• Experiment with alcohol-free weeks to assess impact on work performance

• Practice new networking strategies that don't center around drinking

• Explore morning workout routines that wouldn't be possible with regular hangovers

The Rise of the Sober Curious Movement

The sober curious movement has gained significant momentum, particularly among professionals seeking to enhance their career performance and overall wellbeing. According to McKinsey's Women in the Workplace 2023 report, nine in 10 young women want to be promoted to the next level, with three in four having aspirations to become senior leaders. And according to recent analysis from Gallup, young adults are drinking less now than before, with fewer than four in 10 young adults saying they are regular drinkers. 

I believe there is a correlation between the career aspirations of the younger generation and abstaining from regular consumption of alcohol. Perhaps my generation could learn a thing or two from our younger colleagues.

Alcohol companies are noticing the shift, as can been seen in the rapid expansion of the non-alcoholic beverage market and the growing number of alcohol-free social spaces catering to business professionals. I can remember the days when O’Doul’s was the only non-alcoholic beer on the market. Now there is an entire section at Total Wine and many liquor stores dedicated to alcohol-free beer, wine and spirits. The success of these products indicates a growing demand for sophisticated alcohol-free options in professional and social settings.

Corporate culture is evolving as well. The emergence of successful alcohol-free venues like Getaway in Brooklyn and Sans Bar in Austin demonstrates that high-level networking doesn't require spirits. Companies are increasingly offering non-alcoholic alternatives at corporate events, recognizing that inclusive environments support stronger professional relationships and better business outcomes.

Health Benefits of Exploring a Sober Lifestyle

For business professionals, the advantages of reducing alcohol consumption can be substantial. Here are some of the benefits I have personally experienced by living a sober lifestyle:

• Improved cognitive performance and decision-making

• Waking up refreshed without an alarm clock

• An ability to manage stress in a healthier way

• Elimination of anxiety, particularly around work-related responsibilities

• Reallocation of discretionary spending from alcohol to more fulfilling goods and services

I will explore these benefits in more detail in a future blog.

Making the Health Choice: Sober Curious vs. Full Sobriety

While the sober curious movement offers a gentler entry point to examining one's relationship with alcohol, some people may discover they prefer complete abstinence. The key is understanding that both paths are valid approaches to creating a healthier lifestyle.

As someone who explored both paths, I discovered that what started as sober curiosity eventually led me to choose complete sobriety. Through multiple attempts at moderation, I found myself exhausted by the mental energy required to manage my drinking: Can I limit myself to two drinks at this business dinner knowing I will want more? Can I enjoy wine during “taco Tuesday” and be okay with waiting until the weekend to drink again?

For me, complete abstinence proved more liberating than moderation. Without the constant internal negotiations about when and how much to drink, I could focus my mental energy on more productive aspects of my life and career. In fact, I credit my decision to not drink at all as being directly responsible for having the courage and capability to take on an executive-level role at a tech start-up. Had I still been drinking, my career jump would not have happened.

Some people, like myself, find that initial sober curiosity leads them to desire a more comprehensive change in their relationship with alcohol. Others may find that maintaining mindful moderation works better for their lifestyle. It is a personal choice.

Taking the Next Health Step

Whether you're sober curious or considering full sobriety, professional support can help you navigate this journey. AFL Coaching specializes in helping professionals transform their relationship with alcohol through a comprehensive, judgment-free approach.

Ready to explore how reduced alcohol consumption could enhance your professional and personal life? Sign up for my Dry January Challenge or schedule a discovery call. I can help you determine whether a sober curious approach or full sobriety better aligns with your goals and lifestyle.

Remember, whether you're sober curious or ready for complete sobriety, taking steps to examine your relationship with alcohol is a powerful investment in your personal and professional growth. Cheers to being sober curious!